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August 18, 2009

The Future of Television

Television has changed.

No longer do we appeal to the highest common denominator and everyone pays close attention to understand all the subtleties. Now we appeal to the lowest and those who want more just need to dial their brains down a few hundred notches.

We live in the age of the "reality" tv show. Now don't get me wrong, I understand completely. Despite my complete disgust for the "celebreality" shows on Vh1, we have like 20 channels, so I watch them. And I kind of enjoy it.

It's the exact same reason we all crowd around the block when an ambulance shows up at the neighbors, or slow down and crank our necks at a car crash, we like to see disaster, pain, suffering, and any other amount of similar things. And what else is Daisy of Love besides disaster, pain and suffering?

So I've come to you with an open proposal. Feel free to completely steal my idea and not give me any credit. Honestly it'll happen whether I suggest it or not so it doesn't really matter. We need to stop pussyfooting around and just embrace this change. So here's the ultimate reality show, lets just cut to the chase. If I don't see this within a year I will be extremely disappointed with our society.

Remember that Battle of the Network Stars show, where they faced sitcom stars with other sitcom stars in Olympic like sporting events? Now you of course remember American Gladiators as well right? There you go.

You've no doubt figured it out, but if not I'll explain it to you. I want to see all of the batshit crazy reality show people battle it out in American Gladiator like events.

Omarosa, crazy christian lady from Wife Swap, that Pumpkin chick that spits on people, the New York girl she spit on, the very angry man that tried to fight Gordon Ramsey, Richard Hatch (naked of course), and any number of other people that should probably be in mental institutions instead of on TV. Keep in mind that these need to be people that are ONLY known for having been on some trashy reality show.

What's the prize? Genuine fame. We could take anyone that wins, find some sort of actual talent they have, and teach them to use that instead of making out with strangers and taking their clothes off. However, anyone that loses gets obscurity. Everyone in America promises to completely ignore them, even if they are humping their leg.

Come on Fox. Don't even TRY to act like you aren't interested in this. You don't even have to thank me. My thanks is the fact that I have made America a better place, and that's all the thanks that I need.


Steve W said...

I think your idea fails because you assume these people have a talent that we'll be able to find.

Alex R. Cronk-Young said...

Well, if we can't find anything then I guess we could just fabricate a more respectable talent. Just have them lip sync. It worked for countless pop starlets before.

As long as they promise to always wear panties when getting out of cars and to never take naked pictures of themselves on their phones.

yanglyn said...

We should all take them to a deserted island and have them fight things out Battle Royale style.

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